A local mung bean has spoken to the media today and taken full credit for Margs boy Jack Robinson’s Olympic Silver today claiming that her latest healing crystal shrine created an aura of success.
The blow-in who moved down to Margs a few years ago when she decided her unemployability was the fault of the “system” and wasted no time embracing an indulgent and gimmicky new age lifestyle.
To this end, her humble dwelling that her folks bought her has a dedicated healing room and she utilised the power of the crystals to send good vibes to Robinson. She added,
“It’s a big achievement for the boy but I don’t think he could have done it without my help. Not only did my shrine talk to the earth mother to give him composure but my nightly drum circles instilled the beat of a champion in his heart”
The woman needed to take a few minutes after suffering a rather nasty whooping cough fit before continuing,
“Look at this one, Citrine, it’s called the sunshine stone and it blesses the chakra of all those who leave a substantial donation in exchange for my aura reading services. I was able to take that energy and direct it towards Jack, pretty cool hey?”
Having absolutely no idea what she was talking about we asked what other measures she took to ensure Olympic Silver. She told us,
“A few drops of my own blend of essential oils in Jack’s favourite surf break of course. I created this mix of peppermint, sandalwood and patchouli after a vision I had while on shrooms. It brings good luck and wards off evil such as bad waves”
Right. Well, no doubt Jacky boy is indebted to her for this service.