In news Melbourne doesn’t want to hear, Perth man Robbo has rented a car during his recent visit. When getting the keys, the attendant kindly reminded Robbo that if he drives in the CBD he should expect to perform an infamous Melbourne hook turn.
Robbo laughed in her face and reminded her that he’s the best driver in Perth and has never let a road law slow him down. He told The Times,
“Turn right from the left lane? What’s the big deal? I do that every single day back home. In fact, I pride myself on hitting a righty from up to 3 lanes across ha ha ha”
So it should come as no surprise that when Robbo cruised through the CBD he tackled his first hook turn with the sort of expert vehicular mastery you’d expect from a Ranger driver. A witness told The Times,
“Look, I’ll give him a C-. He got the lane orientation right. Mind you he was driving down the middle of both lanes for a bit there. This guy clearly didn’t give a fark. He then went before the light and almost got boned by the tram. You could tell this excited him”
Indeed it had. We spoke to Robbo who had just finished yelling at a group of female pedestrians that Melbs hook turns don’t have shit on him. Flexing his arm and telling them he’d see them Sunday morning at Revolver. He continued,
“Made that tram piss ha ha. Little game of chicken. How can you struggle with a hook turn if you’re from Perth? Honestly. I feel like that was everything I’d been training for. What a rush. I was meant to take some photos of piss-stained laneways but I’m just going to cruise the hook turn circuit I reckon”
For now, Robbo feels like he’s on top of the world. However, all that will change soon when he learns about toll roads. Lord help the rental agency when all those come through.
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