A merger between two large Australian businesses has fallen to shit today after the prospects of a successful merge became all too much for the Western Australian party.
Instead of allowing the merger to go off without a hitch, they sabotaged the effort in the most aggressive way they could. Some described it as going “full Perf” and another witness said, “not on WA’s watch”. A witness told The Times,
“All we had to do was sign the papers. The lawyers had looked over them and everything was agreed upon between the parties. However, as soon as the CEO of the Perth corporation picked up his pen he went into a rage and you could see his mind speeding up. There was no way he was going to let this merge happen”
A corporate wankstain in a mid-tier suit who was present at the meeting described how the usually mild CEO turned into an animal. Explaining to The Times,
“He started flipping the bird at the other party’s team and telling them they could suck his fat one. Then he got right up their arse as they left the boardroom. He was really making sure they got the hell out of there”
Unfortunately, mediators have been unable to mend the damage caused by the outburst. It seems that once again a Perth individual has completely blocked a perfectly good merge. The CEO refused to reflect on his conduct and told The Times,
“What can I say, the red Perf mist came over me. Am I meant to apologise for that? Give them a little courtesy wave. Piss off. This is my house“