Metallica fans have been celebrating today after it was revealed the band will be coming to Perth next year, the first time since 2013.
Many wondered why they didn’t do the tried & tested method of skipping Perth on big tours. Something was off and people assumed they had an ulterior motive.
They would be correct. We spoke to a source close to the band who said Lars has finally got a “lock on his target” adding,
“When they came in 2013, Lars almost got his man. This total piece of shit who thought he could STEAL music on the INTERNET. Can you imagine that? Well, the rumour was that Lars was just 5 minutes late to the Redcliffe Tavern and his target got away after a tip off”
We managed to teach out to Braddo from Belmont who claims to be the man Lars wants to capture and bring to justice. He told The Times,
“I was pretty young when all of this was going down and you can imagine my surprise when I got a Myspace message from Lars in 2013, which was 9 years after the deed. He told me that he knew where I was and watch my back. Then when they came on tour someone ran into the Reddy afternoon show and Lars is looking for Brad run mate, the rest is history”
Apparently, the band wont be making the same mistake again, with the band planning to ambush Brad and ask him how it feels to steal from multi millionaires.
Good luck Brad.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?