Sections of the community are calling for an inquest into the absolute racket the Great Perth Storm was making last night and well into the wee hours of this morning.
Some are saying it went too far with its gusty winds and wanton destruction but a spokesperson for the GPS said it only had noble intentions. Adding,
“The GPS just wanted to ensure that everyone was up bright & early to serve their old man breakfast and wish him a happy Father’s Day. Nothing sinister. It concedes it may have gone a bit over the top but you get that with such a powerful beast”
We spoke to a Perth resident who said all of the GPS’ good intentions played prelude to its greatest nightmare – actually making people more tired for Father’s Day. Adding,
“Well, the cunnovadog blowing all night meant I could barely sleep. Now I’m tired, hungover, and grumpy and have a 45-minute drive to the folks. Why did the GPS have to interfere? The alarm system works just fine thanks”
However, not everyone is cursing the GPS’ name. One punter who admits she is a heavy sleeper was thankful for the powerful gusts this morning. Which indeed got her up at about 7:30. She told The Times,
“My family calls me Snorlax because I’m a bit of a pro at sleeping. I was deep in it this morning and I reckon I would’ve woke up at 9 am if it wasn’t for a tree branch smashing through my living room window. Thanks GPS, you did me a solid, I think”
As a peace offering, the GPS has agreed to ease up by this afternoon so families can enjoy a yard clean-up together over an arctic BBQ. However, the GPS says it takes no responsibility for the temperature as that isn’t its jurisdiction.
It’s OK GPS, we know you mean well. You just don’t know your power some days.
RELATED: Woman Posts Touching Instagram Father’s Day Tribute for Dad Who Has Never Heard of Instagram
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?