It’s no secret the Swan’s supporter base is made up of disconcertingly diehard South Melbourne supporters and full blown, coked-up influencers who have suddenly found their passion.
So it’s no surprise that Australia’s bandwagon community have been partying into the early hours of the morning after Sydney gave Port a shellacking at the SCG last night.
We spoke to a fairweatherfuck who chatted to us while adjusting his moused up quaff in the little mirror he carries around to assist with powdering his nose. He told The Times,
“Love Sydney when they are doing well ay, I even had the scarf from 2022, I had to laugh but the tag was still on it ha ha, looks like I didn’t try to get a refund on it after all”
Of course, it’s not just Sydney based shitstains that welcome a chance to jump on a bandwagon. We spoke to a Perth based influencer who said she don’t know how she’d survive if she didn’t get a ticket to the Grand Final. Adding,
“OMG Swans, what a team! How good was Zak Heenley and that Chad Walker. Not to mention Goulbourn! I remember his name because it’s like the fruit cups. Anyway, I am totally like the number one swannies fan please get me a ticket, daddy”
You may laugh but compared to some of the other “fans” in attendance last night this influencer at least was in the ballpark.
A witness at the game said he was sitting next to a R.M Williams wearing pest who was overheard saying, “how any tries has Sydney scored?”
It’s a grim state of affairs.