A new café opening in Perth has thrown down the gauntlet to Dôme by announcing an aggressive play to capture the boomer market from them.
Not only has the café promised “coffee hotter than the sun” in mugs taken straight from a heating oven but they are offering patrons water straight from the hose – a baffling point of pride for anyone in the late gen X – boomer demographic.
We spoke to the owner of the new inner-city café who told The Times,
“I’m thinking of calling the café Back In My Day and it’s all about capturing the golden era of taste. A lot of older customers at the last café I worked for told me that the taste of tap water sickened them and didn’t had anywhere near enough notes of fetid rubber, insect droppings and bacteria”
He has also developed the first hose water mugacino that he has dubbed the hoseacino. We bravely tried the drink and agreed that it took one back to the sweet smell of the sprinkler on a hot day.
Taste wise, it was quite awful but the average boomer no longer has sufficient taste buds to detect the foul after taste due to a lifetime of apricot chicken, boiled meat and the dodgiest of stroganoffs.
The café is expected to open next week.
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