Reports have flooded in that on his way Down South, Nicolas Cage stopped in at the Bunbury Farmers Market and made a bee line to a fresh fruit provider.
A witness told The Times that Nic requested a single peach before bragging to an adoring crowd that he could eat one for hours. Adding,
“He really likes that peach and he wasn’t kidding. We watched him eat it for ages. Had to be at least 4 hours. They were trying to close up and he just kept munching on it”
Staff at the market had to politely remind Nic of their closing time. However each time he’d acknowledge he had to leave but get lost in that peach once again. Another witness told The Times,
“I turned to my husband and told him THAT was a man. There is nothing hotter than a celebrity who takes his vitamin intake seriously and oh boy did he take it seriously mmmm”
We understand that after the marathon snack, Cage apologised to all staff for holding them back but reiterated that when it came to peaches he didn’t mess around. A witness told The Times,
“Yeah I couldn’t stop watching this man’s technique. A peach is a small thing but there is nuance. I told my GF that we were going to watch Face Off tonight ha ha, she told me to get away from her and that’s valid. My peach game sub par”
After leaving, Nic Cage spent another 4 hours in the queue to leave the farmers market but by all accounts, he was well entertained by the “unfinished job” on his delicious WA peach. A true peach aficionado.
Cage starts filming his new surfer movie soon and by all reports will need all the fruit energy he can get.
So if you run a local grocery market please be warned that he will put his money where his mouth is.
What a blessing to the state
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?