An afternoon session of barefoot bowls has turned into a show of dominance after a bloke who goes by “Curly” excused himself from the game to go and take a slash. It was noted that he didn’t slip his thongs back on.
Curly trudged his hobbit feet through the club and into the bathroom. A young man looked on with awe as the cobber charged towards the urinal. Not deterred by any number of piss puddles he had conquered on his journey to pole position.
It was a full deck but old mate managed to squeeze himself between 2 other men. While they cowardly stood on the raised part before the grill, Curly went forth. We spoke to one of the urinators who told The Times,
“Man, this guy is a savage. He was in front of us so he was copping a bit of our splash back. He grunted for about 15 seconds before dribbling out a sorry excuse for a piss. His feet are firmly on the piss grill at all times. I’d never seen anything quite like it”
The encounter caused them to feel like lesser men. Men concerned with the trivial technicalities of hygiene and not wanting human piss all over their feet. Curly sensed this and walked out of that bathroom with his head held high. A witness told The Times,
“One of the blokes went straight to his girlfriend to tell her what he’d seen. The other went to the bar to get Curly a middie. He kept saying that he wished Curly was his dad seeing as he never had a father figure growing up”
Always the cool cat, Curly told The Times that it was all in a day’s work for him. Adding,
“Had me feet on plenty worse cob. You ever stepped in cattle afterbirth on a 46 degree day in the Pilbara? This was a cake walk in comparison. I reckon that’s what’s wrong with the young fellers these days, ain’t prepared to get their feet dirty”
Well done Curly you are a national treasure.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?