A couple who recently moved to the inner city suburb of Highgate got the shock of their lives when they enlisted the services of old mate and tradie, Ron.
Ron arrived at their million dollar property with a big smile on his face. He told the clean shirt yuppie to “look over there” before explaining in disconcerting detail what happened in that laneway the last time he was here over a decade ago.
By all reports, Ron just couldn’t keep quiet about his escapades and how “good” Highgate used to be before turning into a Gentrified “gelato & dress code wankfest”, in Ron’s words.
We spoke to the man who contracted Ron’s services, he told The Times
“Wow, I really had no idea Highgate was like this. We moved to Perth in 2015 and finally took our chance to get into the market in an area like this. I can’t look at this street the same, especially after Ron told me what he used to pay an extra $50 for, Jesus”
The man’s wife wasn’t spared Ron’s charm either. With Ron explaining that this is the first time he’s been back to Highgate after being arrested for propositioning an undercover police officer on Stirling Street. She added,
“He then told me that it once took 2 months to fumigate his Kingswood after going a Stirling Street trifecta on his Birthday in the 90s. Ick”
What followed was 2 hours of an unfiltered Ron talking about every alleyway, park bench and side street he “supported the local economy” at.
Ron was eventually asked to leave after offering a different payment plan for them “for old time’s sake”
Ron you dirty, dirty dawg.
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