Everything the local pub thought they knew about Macka has been shattered into a million pieces over night after he exhibited some truly out of character behaviour.
See Macka hasn’t missed steak night for 35 years. Each and every time, he’ll savagely attack his steak and complain about meat not being what it used to be while his mouth was full of food.
By the end of the meal, there may be a chip or two left but without fail the salad would remain wholly untouched. He would also make his point by telling anyone who was around him that he doesn’t eat “rabbit food”.
In fact, one night in 1995, Macka got banned from mid strength beer for a month after throwing a barstool at bloke for ordering a Caeser salad. Claiming that kind of thing wasn’t welcome “round here” and declaring that he refused to stand next to the bloke at the urinal now.
That changed last night.
Perhaps it was extra 3 middies or perhaps it was the recent doctors appointment where the doc expressed genuine confusion as to how he was still alive but last night, Macka had a crack at his side salad.
We spoke to the bartender who witnessed the world first. He told The Times,
“I reckon he maybe ate half of it? He was pretty smashed so I think it was less about health and more that his caveman brain detected meat juice on the salad and that registered as food to him. Time will tell if he’s a changed man but I doubt it, he still waits for me to leave the bathroom because I bleached my hair last year”
Incredible scenes.