OPINION: why pay to see Oasis when I’m about to hold the beer garden hostage with a rendition of Wonderwall?

Seriously, can you imagine how much tickets will be? Why pay that when I’ll be forcing you to listen to my rendition of Wonderwall while you’re trying to chat to your mates?

Hear me out. Most people couldn’t name 5 Oasis songs and will probably spend $200 just to hear Wonderwall and maybe Champagne Supernova. That’s $100 a song.

You literally paid nothing to be sitting in this beer garden and I’ve performed the hit roughly 10,000 times in my life. All unsolicited.

Now, the key to really tearing the house down is to get an amplifier involved. Sure, the pub begs me just to stick to non-amplified music but that won’t fly with Wonderwall.

After all, how can I be sure I’ve successfully sabotaged every attempted conversation unless I’ve got it turned up to 11.

Next, I like to throw my adoring fans a bone and let them sing the “after aaaaaalll you’re my wondeeeerrrr waaaalllll”. A real rockstar move.

Can’t get to the beer garden? Don’t stress, I’ll be popping up at house parties, camping trips and even corporate development days.

You can’t escape. Resistance is futile. So save your money and try to enjoy!