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Sunday, April 19, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    Buddy Franklin Rejoins AFL For Easier Run Than Facing Gingin Boys Again

    Buddy Franklin has made the decision to rejoin the AFL as the thought of having to play against Gingin again vexes the legend. Strapping up…

    Belle April 19, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

    Perth Cactus to run in 2029 WA State Election after securing youth vote

    Westralia is in shock this morning after the infamous Perth Cactus announced it would be running for Government in the 2029 WA State Election. The…

    Belle April 19, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

     Joy in New Zealand as tinnie with Nation’s fuel supply let through Strait of Hormuz

    Cries of joy have been heard all through New Zealand after they received news that their national tinnie carrying their entire fuel supply was finally…

    Belle April 18, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

    Two Supertankers-a-Day Limit Imposed on Superpowers to Prevent Panic Buying After Strait of Hormuz Reopens

    Petro-nations in the middle-east have borrowed some inspiration from Australian retail and imposed a 2 supertanker-per-day limit on fuel as the Strait of Hormuz reopens…

    Belle April 18, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Tyre punctures plummet as rising building material costs force tradies to keep track of screws

    Tyre punctures across the entire country have plummeted thanks to the rising cost of building material amid the Iran war. In a rare win for…

    Belle April 17, 2026
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Technology & Finance

BREAKING: Cash is King Enthusiast Still Has A Stiffy

Belle July 21, 2024

A man who bases his entire personality around loudly typing “CASH IS KING!” has been admitted to hospital today after maintaining rock hard status since…

View More BREAKING: Cash is King Enthusiast Still Has A Stiffy
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Technology & Finance

Australia to roll out pirated copies of Windows XP after global tech outage 

Belle July 20, 2024

Australia has vowed to protect its citizens against all future global outages by making pirated copies of the GOAT Windows XP available to all citizens…

View More Australia to roll out pirated copies of Windows XP after global tech outage 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

AFL promises Flagmantle 8 business class sinks to piss in to even playing field 

Belle July 18, 2024

The AFL has responded to the furore over the Flagmantle chartered flight that saw players need to urinate into the sink due to a lack…

View More AFL promises Flagmantle 8 business class sinks to piss in to even playing field 
BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

Marriage On The Rocks After Wife Tries To Throw Out Antique 90’s Midori Illusion Shaker

Belle July 17, 2024

For over 20 years of married life, Brett’s antique mid 90’s Midori Illusion shaker lived happily in the back of the second row of the…

View More Marriage On The Rocks After Wife Tries To Throw Out Antique 90’s Midori Illusion Shaker
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

ex-BASE jumper now entering building contracts in WA to satisfy his risk-taking tendencies

Belle July 17, 2024

A former BASE jumper and all-around lunatic has revealed that throwing himself off buildings, antennae, bridges and cliffs no longer gives him the thrill it…

View More ex-BASE jumper now entering building contracts in WA to satisfy his risk-taking tendencies
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS From the Zoo

A Day In The Life Of A Law Graduate 

Belle July 17, 2024 A Day In The Life Of

6:30 am – crywank in the shower until I am sufficiently purged of all bodily fluids that will get in my way today. I am an…

View More A Day In The Life Of A Law Graduate 

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Buddy Franklin Rejoins AFL For Easier Run Than Facing Gingin Boys Again
  • Perth Cactus to run in 2029 WA State Election after securing youth vote
  •  Joy in New Zealand as tinnie with Nation’s fuel supply let through Strait of Hormuz
  • Two Supertankers-a-Day Limit Imposed on Superpowers to Prevent Panic Buying After Strait of Hormuz Reopens
  • Tyre punctures plummet as rising building material costs force tradies to keep track of screws
  • Trump ‘Not Happy’ With Western Australia Over Mandurah Forum Food Court Closure

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