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Thursday, July 16, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

    BHP In Strife as Automated Sparkies Develop Sentience and Also Join the Picket Line

    BHP is having a ‘mare today after the automated sparkies they’d developed to avoid having to pay real ones developed sentience and decided to join…

    Belle July 16, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    England Blames Tougher Brexit Border Controls for Football’s Inability to Come Home

    England vehemently deny that the reason it’s not coming home is because they choked against Argentina. Or any other of their World Cup crash outs.…

    Belle July 16, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

    BHP Denies Arrival of Planes Full of New Zealanders Has Anything to Do with Thursday’s Strike

    BHP says the arrival of several QantasLink planes full of Kiwis has absolutely nothing to do with the planned industrial action tomorrow. However, sources close…

    Belle July 15, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

    WA to Take Over Strait of Hormuz to Ensure it Remains Toll-Free

    The world has turned to Western Australia to take control of the clusterfuck happening in the Strait of Hormuz after now Trump has floated the…

    Belle July 14, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    New Planning Reforms to Make It Easier to Build a Granny-Data Centre in Your Backyard

    Western Australia continues to lead the way in planning reform after announcing that red tape would be slashed on landowners seeking to build a granny-data…

    Belle July 14, 2026
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

Kids Tell Millennial Parents They’ll Be Going Straight Home If They Don’t Stop Embarrassing Them At Harry Potter Experience

Belle July 12, 2026

Children all over Perth have been left cringing over their millennial parent’s behaviour at the Harry Potter Experience in the Perth Hill. As most people…

View More Kids Tell Millennial Parents They’ll Be Going Straight Home If They Don’t Stop Embarrassing Them At Harry Potter Experience
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

It’s Coming Home to Perth’s North as Butler Beats Norway

Belle July 12, 2026

Almost in unison, Perth’s Northern suburbs have declared that “it’s coming home” after World Cup underdogs Butler beat Norway in an overtime thriller this morning.…

View More It’s Coming Home to Perth’s North as Butler Beats Norway
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

Man Refused Entry to Bunnings After Arriving Without a Dog

Belle July 11, 2026

Ugly scenes have erupted at a Perth Bunnings after a local man thought he would just waltz in without a dog in his trolley. The…

View More Man Refused Entry to Bunnings After Arriving Without a Dog
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Travel

WA man who spent a week chundering into the Adriatic Sea on a ship full of non-Croatians claims he loved Croatia 

Belle July 11, 2026

A young Perth man has reported to his friends & family that he absolutely loved Croatia after a week spent cruising the islands on Sail…

View More WA man who spent a week chundering into the Adriatic Sea on a ship full of non-Croatians claims he loved Croatia 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

Defence Launches Urgent Search After New Javelin Missiles Last Seen in Possession of the Emus in Lancelin

Belle July 11, 2026

The Australian Defence Force has conceded that the recent show of military might in Lancelin backfired somewhat after a crack group of highly trained emus…

View More Defence Launches Urgent Search After New Javelin Missiles Last Seen in Possession of the Emus in Lancelin
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

WA Farmer Starts Growing AI Slop to Secure the Same Reliable Water Supply as a Data Centre

Belle July 10, 2026

A Western Australian farmer has had the novel idea to replace his crops with AI slop so he can secure the same water supply as…

View More WA Farmer Starts Growing AI Slop to Secure the Same Reliable Water Supply as a Data Centre

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TRENDING NEWS

  • BHP In Strife as Automated Sparkies Develop Sentience and Also Join the Picket Line
  • England Blames Tougher Brexit Border Controls for Football’s Inability to Come Home
  • BHP Denies Arrival of Planes Full of New Zealanders Has Anything to Do with Thursday’s Strike
  • WA to Take Over Strait of Hormuz to Ensure it Remains Toll-Free
  • New Planning Reforms to Make It Easier to Build a Granny-Data Centre in Your Backyard
  • Woolworths to Trial Electrified Security Gates to Ensure the Only Crime Is Their Prices

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