Lynx Africa weaponised alongside cardboard “anti-sex beds” in Paris Olympic Village
To “gently dissuade” athletes from running a fortnight long train on each other, the Paris Olympics has weaponised Lynx Africa to destroy female toeyness. Alongside…
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A Day in the Life of a Westralian Who Can’t Handle A Little Bit of Winter
6:00 am – I awake the soviet horror of a cold draught creeping into my fortress of warmth. Despite the full frontal heat-assault I launch…
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Transit Officers Get Special Powers To Confiscate Phones Blaring Aussie Hip Hop
Legislation has been rushed through parliament to grant the PTA officers the power to confiscate any phone on public transport that is blaring shit music…
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Biden announces plan to get a house on the Mandurah canals and a Dome long mac topped up served extra hot
Joe Biden has sent shockwaves through American politics today by announcing he’s stepping aside in the Presidential race due to some lacklustre performances on the…
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REPORT: Melbourne couldn’t find a clearance at an early 2000s Rugs-a-Million closing down sale
The AFL has conceded that one of its most loved sons – the Melbourne Demons – have developed a real and brutal allergy to clearances…
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BREAKING: Cash is King Enthusiast Still Has A Stiffy
A man who bases his entire personality around loudly typing “CASH IS KING!” has been admitted to hospital today after maintaining rock hard status since…
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