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Wednesday, November 05, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Pilbara Man Establishes Dominance by Refusing to Shoo Flies from Face In Front of Perth Coworkers

    Being born in the Pilbara, Rory swallowed 3 whole flies before he’d even left his mother’s womb as an infant. Some say the additional protein…

    Belle November 5, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Tradie notoriously careless with his screws & nails admits he’s on the payroll of big tyre

    A local Perth tradesman who is thought to be responsible for over 1000 ruined tyres per month has finally admitted his patented carelessness with nails…

    Belle November 5, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Ageing millennial never feels older than when looking at a festival line up

    A festival poster stuck to a fence has once again ruined an ageing millennials day as he did his best to recognise more than 1…

    Belle November 5, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times Business Entertainment

    Central accommodation, a feed and already dressed for his date with the Magistrate, Ascot race day Bogan winning

    A Perth bogan who found himself over refreshed and dangerously gee’d up has been counting his blessings while sitting in his piss soaked trousers at…

    Belle November 4, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 

    Authorities have put out an alert that it is highly likely you may fail a piss-test tomorrow if you were within a kilometre of the…

    Belle November 2, 2025
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

Fears temporary dhufish ban will deplete stocks of fresh Tinder photos 

Belle October 20, 2025

The BCF weekend warrior community fears a temporary restriction on any demersal fishing could absolutely ravage stocks of fresh Tinder photos.  Currently, the WA Government…

View More Fears temporary dhufish ban will deplete stocks of fresh Tinder photos 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

Louvre thieves eyeing off Bankwest Tower next for daring raid on Bondy’s gold bathroom

Belle October 20, 2025

The daring thieves behind a heist at the Louvre has reportedly set their sights on an even more grandiose payday, right here in little old…

View More Louvre thieves eyeing off Bankwest Tower next for daring raid on Bondy’s gold bathroom
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

Tables are turned as WorkSafe probes extraterrestrials over entering mine site without authorisation 

Belle October 19, 2025

A pair of extraterrestrials have been given a rude welcome to Western Australia after crashing into a mine site outside of Newman. Naturally, the inquisitive…

View More Tables are turned as WorkSafe probes extraterrestrials over entering mine site without authorisation 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS From the Zoo

What your favourite major fast food chain says about you

Belle October 19, 2025

Maccas – you’re a plain Jane punter whose idea of getting crazy is dipping a chip into a sundae. You have no idea why your Bumble…

View More What your favourite major fast food chain says about you
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

Repeat offenders to be sentenced to lengthy Essendon contracts 

Belle October 19, 2025

Criminal jurisdictions around Australia have come up with a novel deterrent to try and correct the course of many of the nation’s repeat offenders.  The…

View More Repeat offenders to be sentenced to lengthy Essendon contracts 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

Kalamunda parents forbid daughter’s blooming romance with boy from down the hill 

Belle October 18, 2025

A Kalamunda family has been torn apart after Kaleigh admitted she had partaken of the forbidden fruit of the High Wycombe riff-raff.  In a heated…

View More Kalamunda parents forbid daughter’s blooming romance with boy from down the hill 

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Pilbara Man Establishes Dominance by Refusing to Shoo Flies from Face In Front of Perth Coworkers
  • Tradie notoriously careless with his screws & nails admits he’s on the payroll of big tyre
  • Ageing millennial never feels older than when looking at a festival line up
  • Central accommodation, a feed and already dressed for his date with the Magistrate, Ascot race day Bogan winning
  • Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 
  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

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  • Perth Driver Accused Of Being A Witch After Failing To Slam Brakes Upon Entering Tunnel
  • Leering Tradie Alleges He Was Catfished After Driver Of P-Plated Suzuki Swift Turned Out To Be Middle Aged Man
  • Crack team of Pilbara miners sent to UK to assure them their heatwave was nothing 
  • Moving down train carriage far too similar to merging for Perth to feel comfortable attempting
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