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Monday, March 02, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Report: man thought it was a good idea to go to Hillarys on a public holiday for some reason

    A local bozo had the bright idea to drag his family to Hillarys today to enjoy a nice relaxing public holiday next to the tranquil…

    Belle March 2, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    AI traffic camera suffers catastrophic meltdown trying to process first morning of WA long weekend

    A mobile AI traffic camera positioned on the Freeway heading southbound has crashed out under the sheer volume of how much vehicular fuckery it was…

    Belle February 28, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

    Authorities up the ante against Alcoa with sternly worded tree vandalism sign in Northern Jarrah Forest

    A joint taskforce into Alcoa’s tree cutting shitcuntery in the Northern Jarrah Forest has been launched between State and Federal environmental authorities. Fearing the $55…

    Belle February 27, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    City of Perth confident parking fee hike is a ‘non-issue’ thanks to Perth’s famous love of public transport

    It’s a move that some punters are sceptical about given the CBD has the humming hustle and bustle of Galleria most of the time. However,…

    Belle February 27, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Parents squirm awkwardly after kids ask them what Pinky’s was like back in their day

    A lovely day on Rottnest island turned awkward after a visit to the infamous Pinky’s Beach. It seems the parents were unable to hide their…

    Belle February 26, 2026
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

Concerns after a battalion of emus put in a bid for Leeuwin Barracks 

Belle February 5, 2026

Western Australia is on high alert this morning after it was revealed a battalion of emus related to the original army that conquered WA in…

View More Concerns after a battalion of emus put in a bid for Leeuwin Barracks 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS From the Zoo

A day in the life of a Nissan Patrol driver

Belle February 5, 2026 A Day In The Life Of

7:00 am – I awaken to the sun shining on my face and birds chirping. It’s like a Disney scene if the character passed out…

View More A day in the life of a Nissan Patrol driver
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

Why yes, aging Scarborough man does reckon he could also do a 4km heroic swim in rough seas

Belle February 4, 2026

Brett, 42, from Scarborough has watched the heroic actions of young Austin and has confirmed that the young champion is made from the same sort…

View More Why yes, aging Scarborough man does reckon he could also do a 4km heroic swim in rough seas
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS From the Zoo

12 types of awful coworkers you can’t avoid

Belle February 3, 2026

Since time began, humans were forced to work together towards a communal goal. Alas, that goal appears to be losing one’s faith in humanity. Here’s…

View More 12 types of awful coworkers you can’t avoid
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

Perth man dodges synthetic lawn ban by registering yard as a commercial pizza oven

Belle February 3, 2026

A Perth resident has reacted poorly to the news that he is not permitted to install synthetic lawn on his front yard.  He comes from…

View More Perth man dodges synthetic lawn ban by registering yard as a commercial pizza oven
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

Authorities confirm beaches once again usable as children return to school

Belle February 2, 2026

Members of the Western Australian adult population have been assured that the city’s stunning beaches are once again usable as the start of the school…

View More Authorities confirm beaches once again usable as children return to school

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Report: man thought it was a good idea to go to Hillarys on a public holiday for some reason
  • AI traffic camera suffers catastrophic meltdown trying to process first morning of WA long weekend
  • Authorities up the ante against Alcoa with sternly worded tree vandalism sign in Northern Jarrah Forest
  • City of Perth confident parking fee hike is a ‘non-issue’ thanks to Perth’s famous love of public transport
  • Parents squirm awkwardly after kids ask them what Pinky’s was like back in their day
  • Joondalup man reaches City faster on foot than drivers after surprise thunderstorm

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