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Wednesday, March 11, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

    Mandurah develops space program after just 2 days without “certain websites”

    A mere 48 hours after big Wank decided to clamp down on Australia, Mandurah has announced it will be launching its first manned spaceship to…

    Belle March 10, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    New Freo Traffic Bridge fully completed after just 48 hours without “certain websites”

    A likely consequence of the Pornocalypse has been a major boost in the productivity of tradesman who are though to spend over half their day…

    Belle March 10, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Little shops selling cheap dodgy fuel & expensive American snacks pop up over night

    Little shops that seemingly only sell outrageously priced American snacks have pivoted into a new hustle after reading the room on the public’s fears over…

    Belle March 10, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

    Roger Cook’s removalist truck expected in West Perth by 2030 after hitting Kwinana Freeway traffic

    Western Australian Premier Roger Cook has done what many SOR have dreamt of doing for years – escaping Kwinana. Citing the need to be closer…

    Belle March 9, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    Tom Hanks chose GWS match as he was searching for a deserted location for Cast Away 2

    Tom Hanks was spotted at the GWS v Hawthorn match yesterday much to the surprise of the handful of punters in attendance. However, it wasn’t…

    Belle March 8, 2026
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

St Paddy’s Day sees statewide shortage of traffic controllers in WA

Belle March 17, 2025

The WA construction industry has ground to a halt today after thousands of traffic controllers mysteriously called in sick on St Paddy’s Day. It is…

View More St Paddy’s Day sees statewide shortage of traffic controllers in WA
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

Western Australia slams borders shut to prevent anymore AFL related harm

Belle March 17, 2025

The Westralian Government has acted swiftly after both footy teams brought the great state into disrepute on the weekend. Flagmantle cacked the proverbial bedsheets in…

View More Western Australia slams borders shut to prevent anymore AFL related harm
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

Mandurah Nightclub Goer Enjoying Her Own Little Crab Fest This Weekend

Belle March 15, 2025

Mandurah’s Crab Fest is a great boon for the area. With thousands of crustacean worshipping revellers descending on the Southern WA city to get their…

View More Mandurah Nightclub Goer Enjoying Her Own Little Crab Fest This Weekend
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

AFL coaches seen scouring maternity wards for any child with surname Reid

Belle March 15, 2025

AFL coaches across Australia, in particular Clarko, have madly demanded access to maternity wards to find any child bearing the Reid surname. It comes after…

View More AFL coaches seen scouring maternity wards for any child with surname Reid
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

Revealed: what Flagmantle offered Brayshaw to re-sign

Belle March 15, 2025

The Cockburn Dockers really lived up to their name with an offer to star midfielder Andrew Brayshaw that he couldn’t refuse. No doubt more than…

View More Revealed: what Flagmantle offered Brayshaw to re-sign
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

West Coast Eagles prepared to offer Harley Reid William St Hungry Jack’s to re-sign

Belle March 15, 2025

West Coast in partnership with their major sponsor Hungry Jack’s is ready, willing and able to throw the crown jewel of the HJ’s empire at…

View More West Coast Eagles prepared to offer Harley Reid William St Hungry Jack’s to re-sign

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Mandurah develops space program after just 2 days without “certain websites”
  • New Freo Traffic Bridge fully completed after just 48 hours without “certain websites”
  • Little shops selling cheap dodgy fuel & expensive American snacks pop up over night
  • Roger Cook’s removalist truck expected in West Perth by 2030 after hitting Kwinana Freeway traffic
  • Tom Hanks chose GWS match as he was searching for a deserted location for Cast Away 2
  • Cott residents demand “Eco-Barrier” be moved to Stirling Highway to stop creatures reaching Sculptures by the Sea

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