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Thursday, March 19, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

    Trump denies desperation after begging Perth to send floating party cube to Strait of Hormuz

    The Trumpinator 2000 is on a mission to sow chaos across the globe and is demanding his allies help chip in to a war they…

    Belle March 19, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

    Coles and Woolworths thank petrol companies for taking the heat off them

    Coles and Woolworths have each sent a thankyou hamper of marked down treats to the major petrol companies for managing to keep their own despicable…

    Belle March 18, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

    Government permits Woodside to pump crude oil directly into motorists’ tanks to alleviate cost pressure

    Forget high sulphur fuel, the salvation Aussie motorists need from the fuel crisis is coming from WA’s own Woodside who have long sought to cut…

    Belle March 17, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    St Paddy’s Day sees statewide shortage of traffic controllers in WA

    The WA construction industry has ground to a halt today after thousands of traffic controllers mysteriously called in sick on St Paddy’s Day. It is…

    Belle March 17, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

    Australians allowed early access to super to afford Easter

    The Albanese Government has rolled out a range of measures to combat the ever-burgeoning cost of living allegedly caused by the Iran war. Punters will…

    Belle March 17, 2026
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

Federal Budget provides $10k Dare iced coffee bonus for tradies to head west

Belle March 26, 2025

In an extraordinary show of solidarity with Westralia, the Federal Budget has provided a $10,000 Dare Iced Coffee bonus to any tradesman who is willing…

View More Federal Budget provides $10k Dare iced coffee bonus for tradies to head west
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

Flagmantle make play for Bryce Cotton to bring his scoring abilities to their forward line

Belle March 25, 2025

Much to the sadness of the Wildcats fans, Bryce Cotton has announced he will be pursuing opportunities elsewhere for the upcoming season. Topping the league…

View More Flagmantle make play for Bryce Cotton to bring his scoring abilities to their forward line
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

Basil Zempilas to officially get the keys to the WA Liberal Party Tarago

Belle March 25, 2025

In another incredibly unsurprising turn of events, Baz is set to be me made the official Liberal Party leader at the next meeting. This, of…

View More Basil Zempilas to officially get the keys to the WA Liberal Party Tarago
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

People who prefer Shepard avocados to be put on Government Watchlist

Belle March 24, 2025

The Australian Government has boldly implemented a new plan to protect its citizens from encounters with Shepard-loving-sickos. The plan comes in the form of a…

View More People who prefer Shepard avocados to be put on Government Watchlist
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

Regional WA schools eye-off brand spankin’ projectors after Albo’s funding pledge 

Belle March 24, 2025

Regional schools all across WA are salivating at the prospect of picking up a fresh overhead projector after Albo announced he would fully fund public…

View More Regional WA schools eye-off brand spankin’ projectors after Albo’s funding pledge 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

Western Derby Trophy replaced with a wooden spoon to reflect what’s really at stake

Belle March 23, 2025

In a radical move, instead of the tradition of giving the winner of the Western Derby a winning trophy, the loser of next week’s match…

View More Western Derby Trophy replaced with a wooden spoon to reflect what’s really at stake

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Trump denies desperation after begging Perth to send floating party cube to Strait of Hormuz
  • Coles and Woolworths thank petrol companies for taking the heat off them
  • Government permits Woodside to pump crude oil directly into motorists’ tanks to alleviate cost pressure
  • St Paddy’s Day sees statewide shortage of traffic controllers in WA
  • Australians allowed early access to super to afford Easter
  • BREAKING: Perth man nails beach conditions after demonstrating basic ability to read wind forecast

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