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Sunday, April 12, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    Blow for Flagmantle as Mason Cox drafted to America

    Flagmantle’s 3 ruck dream has hit a major snag after new recruit Mason Cox was drafted to America pursuant to new laws enacted by their…

    Belle April 11, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

    AFP drop Ben Roberts-Smith prosecution after some bloke from Mandurah tells them they have fark all

    The AFP has sensationally dropped all charges against Ben Roberts-Smith after some bloke from Mandurah launched a grammarless tirade against them on Facebook today. In…

    Belle April 10, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Middle-aged Scarborough gent confident girls will never question his age if he never stops wearing surf wear 

    A Scabs bachelor on the wrong side of 40 is confident that the girls half his age he habitually tries to converse with are none-the-wiser…

    Belle April 10, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

    New Servo Supply Fears as Cargo Ship Full of Cheese Sausages Stuck in Strait of Hormuz

    First, it was fuel, now it’s something much bleaker for humanity – a shortage of cheese sausages is imminent in Australia after a ship full…

    Belle April 9, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Trump claims to have negotiated a ceasefire between Thornlie & Maddington

    The President of Peace aka the Rapid Oompa Loompa King has claimed another negotiation victory today declaring a ceasefire between the SOR Perth suburbs of…

    Belle April 9, 2026
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: the crippling loneliness of owning a BYD Shark 6

Belle April 14, 2025

A moment to reflect on perhaps the loneliest drivers on the road today – the BYD Shark owners. Like a red-headed stepchild, the Shark owners…

View More IN FOCUS: the crippling loneliness of owning a BYD Shark 6
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS From the Zoo

Diary extracts of a former footy country star | Part 1: The Wedding

Belle April 13, 2025

Dear diary, how ya garn? Macka here. Had a ripper weekend going back home for me mate’s wedding. It’s important for blokes of my status…

View More Diary extracts of a former footy country star | Part 1: The Wedding
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

Inedible generic eggs prepare for least anticipated Easter comeback tour thanks to cost-of-living crisis

Belle April 13, 2025

Inedible generic easter eggs were a staple of many childhoods. Their oily consistency reminded one of the sorts of joy that could only usually be…

View More Inedible generic eggs prepare for least anticipated Easter comeback tour thanks to cost-of-living crisis
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

Millennial gives thanks every day social media wasn’t around during his Nu Metal era 

Belle April 11, 2025

An ageing millennial takes a moment at least once a day to thank the powers that be that social media was in its infant stages…

View More Millennial gives thanks every day social media wasn’t around during his Nu Metal era 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

Newly Single Man Deploys Double-Popped Collar To Devastating Effect 

Belle April 10, 2025

The early 2000s called, they want their stud back. Newly single man Dave has just put himself back on the market after a solid 20…

View More Newly Single Man Deploys Double-Popped Collar To Devastating Effect 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

Trump refuses to pause tariff on Wittenoom stating he will make American asbestos great again

Belle April 10, 2025

President Trump has sensationally backflipped on his ridiculous tariffs today after realising destroying the global economy may not make him too popular. However, he remains…

View More Trump refuses to pause tariff on Wittenoom stating he will make American asbestos great again

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Blow for Flagmantle as Mason Cox drafted to America
  • AFP drop Ben Roberts-Smith prosecution after some bloke from Mandurah tells them they have fark all
  • Middle-aged Scarborough gent confident girls will never question his age if he never stops wearing surf wear 
  • New Servo Supply Fears as Cargo Ship Full of Cheese Sausages Stuck in Strait of Hormuz
  • Trump claims to have negotiated a ceasefire between Thornlie & Maddington
  • Australind service to Bunbury to recommence once Australind Bunbury Bypass is completed

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