If Dan has any regrets, it’s that he didn’t stay at The Pinnacles longer but his guests from over east shockingly didn’t share the same passion he had for the ancient limestone structures.
In fact, Dan was so keen to get a big ol slice of old rocks that he made a beeline directly from Perth to Nambung National Park rather than check into their accommodation at nearby Cervantes.
A friend who was visiting from Melbourne told The Times that Dan had assured the group several times they would check in and get unpacked first before “losing his cool” when his calcium-carbonatey senses started tingling, adding,
“We’d basically gone straight from Perth Airport to the open road. Dan kept saying there was no time to waste. He asked us if anyone else could smell the limestone in the air as he went rogue and almost ran off the road in his haste to change paths. Man he talked about limestone a lot”
Once at the marvel of nature, Dan’s friends thought he’d shelved a garage full of Mitsubishi pingas as his senses quickly became overloaded and pure adrenaline kicked in. His wife told The Times,
“Obviously, I’ve seen Dan in his most private moments and it was the same look in his eyes as he rattled off fact after fact about the limestone structures. His lip was quivering and he was ready to blow”
After 30 minutes, the group consensus was that they were ready to leave and hit the pub back in town. Not on Dan’s watch as he continued to cosmically entangle himself with the energy in the air.
A local tour operator considered calling for help as he mistook Dan’s bombastic energy for a man in deep distress. He told The Times,
“The entire tour bus was concerned. This guy was getting really hyped. We thought he was having an episode or something. Turns out he was just high on sedimentary deposits”
After threatening Dan with a divorce after 4.5 hours, he promised that he only needed 30 minutes to get himself over the line. Joking with his friends, “gonna need a fresh pair of grundies after this one”
After finally heading to the pub, Dan surprised his mate’s saying a microbiologist he knows is coming down tomorrow so they can all prepare for another 5-hour adventure tour of the thrombolites.
Farken yewwwwww.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?