Perth pisswreck Damo has woken up with a memory that would rival Guy Pearce in Momento.
As per usual, Damo has stuck his snout in the party trough of alcoholic delights but after facing himself in the mirror this morning he detected a clue to what may have transpired the night before.
Nursing a liquid cry for help aka a Maximus Damo told The Times,
“I spotted the undeniable reminisce of Marmite Chicken on my face and chest. That’s when it all started coming back slowly. I know I’d probably made a goose of myself but how deep in the shame-pond was i?”
It wasn’t long until he found another clue. A squid tentacle in the pocket of his button up shirt. He gasped in horror as he vaguely remembered putting two scorching hot tentacles in his mouth like fangs for a cheap laugh.
Now convinced he’d made a total fool of himself, Damo worked up the courage to message a friend he suspected would’ve been out with him. Alas, the reply message did little to calm his Sunday scaries.
We interviewed Damo’s mate who delivered the bad news. He told The Times,
“With the aid of Google translate he tried to order in Mandarin, Then he declared his love for a waitress before launching a sweet & sour pork ball at a rival male he accused of trying to cut his grass. The bloke was just ordering some Garlic chicken”
As the morning dragged on, Damo’s recollection continued to haunt him. If he’s honest though he’s fairly OK with the black spot concerning how soy sauce got all over his underwear.
There are some things the brain just saves you from remembering.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?