A Perth woman knew her little Friday night date wasn’t to be after witnessing her date get an after drinks kebab in Highgate last night.
It was such a shame as she thought this dropkick could’ve been the one. At least for one night. Alas, she told The Times,
“I even flirtatiously took a big mouthful of the first part and winked at him. He smiled and I thought he was catching what I was pitching but then it got down to the business end of the kebab. The part that separates the boys from the men and I couldn’t have been more disappointed”
We spoke to a witness on the scene that said the mood between the pair soured after he stared frozen at the saucy, leftover mess at the base of the paper. They told The Times,
“He started picking at a few stray pieces of meat and bread and started going on about how the end of the kebab is the worst bit. You could tell she was waiting to see how her got his face into the paper and dealt with the situation a metaphor for whether he could deal with her situation”
Instead of ravenously destroying what was left of his kebab with is tongue and lips, he opted for scrunching up the wrapper and discarding what was left.
All those sweet drippings going to waste. It was at that point she said her goodbyes to a fairly shocked and clueless individual.
We tracked him down and asked him what he thought went wrong. He told The Times,
“I don’t eat the last bit of the kebab mate, if that makes me a selfish diner then so be it. In retrospect I think she saw that as some kind of metaphor or someshit”
Yeah buddy. Next time, get in there, son.