A Perth woman has admitted she didn’t know what she was thinking capturing last night’s stunning electric light show with a flogged-out, piece of shit Android phone that has been a burden on her artistic flare for about 3 years.
After several hours of lightning-watching, Melissa took to social media to proudly display her photos. Only to find that every storm watcher with a fuckoff DSLR lens had the same idea. Alas, Melissa failed to elicit much of a response from her various community pages. She told The Times,
“I thought I had the winning ticket but it turns out not all lightning photographs are equal. These DSLR owners are setting unrealistic photographic beauty standards”
Indeed, Mel’s photos look like a 3 am dickpic from a Vaseline’d up hand of a serial pest compared to the objective brilliance of some of the photos going around. We spoke to a witness in one of Mel’s suburban groups who witnessed her post,
“Ah yeah, looked like dogshit bro, and with some many bangers doing the rounds it just wasn’t going to cut the mustard. She brought an Android to a DSLR fight and she knew it”
We managed to track down an amateur photographer who had recently splashed around $4.5K on a camera to take photos of Jacarandas. She said she had no regrets about crushing Melissa like a bug,
“At the end of the day, the better camera won. Her blurry shots never had a chance. Sure my device is worth several thousands of dollars more but I still like to think these shots were all me and my brilliance”
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?