Jane has boldly posed a question to her followers after snapping the beautiful blue Perth sky this afternoon – “WHAT WINTER???” Obviously alluding to Perth’s comparatively mild cold season.
Her smug display of Perth’s seasonal brilliance was intended as a direct attack on several of her friends living in bleak Smellburn.
Truly a bold play given no less than 8 hours ago, she was having a cold induced meltdown in her car as she was trying to figure out how to defrost the windscreen. She told The Times,
“Um yeah, ew, that was gross but I forgot all about that when the sun came out. Absolute DAY for it. So I decided to show the world what we are working with here in Perth. I mean, winter? What winter? Am I right?”
Naturally, some of her keener followers put two and two together. A contact in Melbourne told The Times,
“Yeah, I replied to her story and asked her if she still thought she was literally going to die because it was like 1 degree or something. She just left me on seen and continued posting glorious sunshine to her story. You have to respect it”
Similarly, Jane will be having another cold induced meltdown in a matter of hours when the sun sets and the chilly temperatures force her to cancel all plans. Her friend told The Times,
“Yeah, you don’t get Jane out in winter past like 5:30 pm. We all feel the cold but she is totally pathetic about it. When we see her posting about ‘what winter?’ we all want to bring it up but she just pretends life is peachy”
RELATED: You’d Think Perth Residents Would Be Used To A Little Ice Before Starting Their Day
Come on Jane. You’re only lying to yourself.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?