Perth woman, Beth, made the critical error of announcing to her coworkers that she was really struggling with these 11-degree mornings and 16-degree days.
Her error? Failing to realise that Albany-born Samantha was in the room. A witness to the whinge told The Times that things got a little icy,
“Samantha rolled her eyes back so fast that you could hear them. She told Beth that Perth people are always whinging about days that could be classed as mid-summer in Albany. She then offered her a cup of concrete, in true regional WA style”
Beth refused to cop the shit sandwich Samantha was serving, however. She told Samantha that she didn’t understand what she was going through.
She then recounted the steps she had taken over the last couple of days. Including but not limited to buying a 2nd electric blanket for the couch, depleting both energy credits from the WA & Federal Government on heating, and even googling symptoms of hypothermia after getting caught in the rain between the shops and her car. Adding,
“What I’ve been through the last few days is the worst thing that that’s ever happened to anyone ever. If Samantha wants to be a hero, I’ll ask how she’s doing next summer!”
Surprisingly, the tales of hardship failed to garner much sympathy from Samantha who told Beth that she’s welcome down at her family home any time for a holiday if she wanted to truly feel how Soviet WA can get.
So keen to make her point, Samantha was also seen making an impassioned plea to turn on the airconditioning after working up a sweat in the balmy 16-degree weather. It was a grotesque performative display.
It was clear to the office that someone had to take Samantha down a peg. It’s a Perth birthright to be overly pathetic about the relatively mild Perth winter.
Luckily there was such a coworker. An Esperance boy who grew up surfing. He walked over to the pair and looked at them both with disgust and simply said,
“You want to know about the cold, do you?”
Everyone is just thankful a Canadian wasn’t working that day.