Qatar’s decision to ban the sale of froffs at World Cup games has caused mass confusion in the soccer world with many questioning how Budweiser who had the exclusive rights to sell beverages met a definition of “beer”.
Many beer experts around the world have condemned Qatar’s decision calling on them to consider the impact this will have on real beer. A beer purity expert from Germany was in a state of distress when he told The Times,
“Telling ze world that beer will be banned when everyone knows that ze supposed beer that was going to be supplied was American Budweiser gives a sickening level of validation to ze piss-water. Many of us refuse to acknowledge it’s even beer, ja?”
With tasting notes ranging from stagnated swamp water to advanced yeast infection, Budweiser is better regarded as a punishment rather than a refreshing beverage. Nevertheless, many western fans are concerned about how they’ll get through a sports game sober.
We spoke to an Englishman who agreed that a ban on beer shouldn’t affect the sale of Budweiser and expressed concern for his viewer experience,
“Budweiser is beer? I haven’t watched a sports game sober in 20 years. This ban on beer is wrong innit lad? If they think it’s gonna stop it coming ommme lad, they dot another thing coming!”
Qatar seems unlikely to backflip on the decision and has told fans if they want to get their kicks they can do it in a Government sanctioned way like denying a migrant worker their human rights. With a Qatar spokesperson telling The Times,
“This western obsession with beer. Have you even tried separating a desperate worker from their passport and coercing them to build a stadium? That’s how you really get a buzz, as you’d say. Give it a try, we won’t be banning that”
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Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?