A special investigation by The Times has uncovered that the froyo chain taking Perth by storm Yo-Chi is simply the Sizzler dessert bar for people who wear activewear and spend their weekends at run clubs.
For the uninitiated, the stores offer punters the chance to make their own abominations via self-serve with a bunch of toppings ranging from fresh fruit to lollies.
The vibrant stores are matched with a pumping playlist to make you feel like you are living in the moment and not at all similar to the kind of gormless slob that would finger the soft serve nozzle at an establishment like Sizzler or Pizza Hut.
We spoke to a Yo-Chi customer who admitted she had lined up for the opening of every store. Even going so as far to call herself a “superfan”. Adding,
“Everyone in here only needs to wipe once. Can you say THAT about the Sizzler dessert bar? I don’t care how many KJs I’m ingesting it’s still HEALTHY and I totally rock activewear”
Not everyone is happy with the findings of The Times’ report. With a godless heathen saying she would often cropdust the Sizzler dessert bar section in activewear. Adding,
“Some of us can do both, sweetie. My man said he loved my scrunch bum leggings and that he wanted to get lost in the Pit of Sarlacc hehe”
Truly disturbing. Moving on, we contacted Yo-Chi to ask them how they convinced a population to do the labour for them and then so happily pay the high prices. They told The Times,
“You’d be surprised what people will do for a TikTok video”
No doubt.