Residents in the City of Bayswater, Bassendean & Belmont have been desperate to rid their beloved suburbs of a mozzies who have hit in plague like proportions this year.
While some are pointing to environmental factors, some residents have noticed that the plague occurred quite soon after a tall, dark, mysterious man with eyes for other’s wives arrived via a boat.
We spoke to Ron from Bayswater who said he got a bit of a strange feeling from this bloke going by Orlok. Adding,
“Mate, I was down at the local pub having a beer and this bloke dressed like a 1800s aristocrat calling himself a Count kept trying to buy my wife a drink. I remember the day well because it’s the first day I got eaten alive by the mozzies. Coincidence?”
Naturally, Count Orlok has remained tight lipped about the point of his visit or why so many mozzies seem to hang around him.
However, an expert in mozzies told The Times,
“If the rumours are to be believed, Orlok was down at Bayswater Waves telling some MILF that if she didn’t accept his friend request the city will never be rid of pestilence. Pretty heavy rizzing right there. So we think perhaps Orlok has switched to mozzies from rats due to the nature of Perth. It’s too vast & clean for rats to spread the plague, mozzies are a much better way”
Well, there you go.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?