Scarborough man finds himself surrounded by half of Ireland after softly mentioning ‘a job on the mines’ while out

Scabs man, Jase, has suffered the shock of a lifetime after managing to summon what appeared to be half of Ireland to his table after softly mentioning to his mate there was a job going on the mines. 

At approximately 3 pm yesterday, the man was enjoying a bevvie in Scarborough with a mate when the subject came up. He told The Times,

“I really didn’t say it loud at all, in fact my mate barely heard me sitting across the table but it was like I’d said an incantation. Some hocus pocus shit, ya know? Before I knew it I had a mob of Irish men & woman enquiring about work on the mines”

We spoke to one Irishman who said he has almost no memory of how he got from his Guinness across the room to the man’s table. We asked him about the incident but he was still in a trance yearning for that Aussie FIFO work. He said,

“Ye marn over there knows of jobs on the moines, like, tell Pádraig and Siobhan”

While the Irish came in peace, it was no doubt an intimidating experience, especially when he was fully surrounded. He told The Times,

“They really wanted a job on the mines, let’s put it that way. One of the girls working traffic down in Perth offered to take me into the toilet to get a referral. That’s when a big guy called Conor said he doesn’t swing that way but would kiss my gooch like the Blarney Stone if that’s what it took”

Luckily, Jase’s mate was able to extract him from the scene. Leaving the frenzied Irish job seekers in a state of confusion. Ready to pounce on anyone who even said mine, regardless of context. 

Glad you’re safe mate. 

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