A proud SOR resident has blamed being rainfished on the fact his bedsheets are still not washed and resemble something the Ah Real Monsters cast would run terrified from.
Metthew swears to the lady he’s in a casual relationship with that it’s BOM’s fault that he didn’t get his sheets washed before she came over today.
Naturally, this excuse doesn’t explain the other 180 odd days he had to do it but that’s his story and he’s sticking to it.
We spoke to Metthew who told The Times that she’d had a gutful of his filthy funkatorium. Adding,
“Ohhh look at that, it’s a beautiful sunny day! I could’ve had my sheets cleaned but nup I thought there was a thunderstorm. Why can’t BoM get it right!”
Many who knows Metthew dispute his version of events. Claiming that there was “0 chance” he was ever going to wash those crusty monsters today regardless of the forecast.
A girl who used to “knock about” with the SOR king backs this version of events up. Saying that he was always looking to blame someone for his sheets. She added,
“Honestly, you wouldn’t want to turn on a UV light 100m from his bed or you’ll be blinded by the light. He’s an absolute grub and don’t listen to him BOM, he was never, ever ever going to do it”
There you have it. SOR.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?