A WA man has had his foundations rocked today after a mate travelling from interstate affectionately referred to him as a “sandgroper”.
While fully aware of the nickname for Western Australians, Todd was left with the stark realisation that he has never even seen one of his namesake. He told The Times,
“I mean, wtf is a sandgroper? Were they big in the 70s or something? How did that nickname stick? I just googled one and can safely say I’ve never seen one of those horrific little cunnys in my life”
His interstate mate, a “crow eater” didn’t share the same dilemma. While no expert he was confident he could identify a crow in a line up. He told The Times,
“I figured WA was just swarming with sandgropers. A sandgroper on every corner but my mate was genuinely perplexed at what one was. I reckon they left the nickname rights to some drunk gold rush era miner or something. Who else would encounter this subterranean beast?”
Nevertheless, Todd remains indifferent to the nickname. He continued to muse,
“Is it because we like to live coastally? Everyone does. Are they using it as an insult? Why don’t fellow West Aussies call each other sandgropers? It’s unsettling if I’m honest but I’m not here to reinvent the wheel. It’s better than meth-apes I guess”
We regrettably travelled to Kalgoorlie to get some more answers. We talked to a level 5 old mate at the bar and he offered his own insight,
“You ever got your hand around a nice, fat boondie? I could grope one all day unintelligible sounds as he began to dry hump the barstool”
Well, there you go.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?