A self-styled Target hack-queen was dealt a harsh blow of reality when she read that Target was going to start stocking Kmart’s pleb brand Anko.
Her entire world and identity started crumbling around her as she was forced to deal with the fact that she was really no different to a Kmart mum now. She told The Times,
“What have I become? I always considered my Target lifestyle to be classy, stylish, and bohemian but now I wade around with the Kmart troglodytes and realise we all stink the same. That’s not an easy thought over my latte with the other Target mums”
The Target mum has been forced to reconsider every hack and “station” she set up in her home. Second guessing every move she made. It’s a brutal fate but one she must live with. She told us,
“I’m worried my bathroom station for my boy’s hygiene products is just flimsy, tacky bullshit now? Is this why my husband is dead inside every time I come home with fresh Target bags?”
While the Target mum struggled with her retail identity, Kmart shoppers are also crying foul. We spoke to a Kmart mum who told The Times,
“Those stuck up Target mums don’t deserve Anko. How dare they mash the stores together like that. Anko is life, we all praise Anko before posting our latest hack”
Time will tell if Anko products will appear on Target mum’s pages but surely it’s only a matter of time. It will require a true pioneer and they will no doubt face fierce opposition for their post. Risking expulsion to push the needle forward. Now that’s a hero.
Both parties will have to find some middle ground because after the merger of the stores, it won’t be long until they are homogeneous and stock all the same crap. Potentially even changing the name to Target-mart or Karget.
Meanwhile, Big W shoppers have been wallowing in their own retail filth in a state of pure obliviousness and joy. That’s the way to be.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?