A St Georges Terrace corporate miner has decided that his lifestyle calls for a pair of glasses that can handle the glare in the CBD and rough it up with the best of them on his annual visit to site.
He therefore became the owner of a brand spankin’ pair of SafeStyle sunnies that he believes will alert every willing female in a 10km radius to a red dirt cowboy like himself.
We interviewed the man while he was out walking his lanyard and checking out his rizz on every reflective surface he could. He told The Times,
“I’m just the kind of guy that does it all. A beast in the boardroom and an animal on site. I think these glasses really convey that message, don’t you think?”
While maintaining he needs the spectacles, he does concede that he has received some snide comments in the past. However, he writes this off as the sad musings of haters. Adding,
“I don’t need them? Um, tell that to Dave who brushed past me with his belt carabiner when I was bent over picking up some very important documents. If i hadn’t been wearing my safety glasses I could’ve had a nasty poke”
We asked him if he actually found any use for them during his annual visit to site. He couldn’t respond quick enough,
“Everytime I’m on site one of the actual miners spills a coffee on me, they tell me it’s pure coincidence and I believe them. Last visit some of that coffee did splash towards my facial region. Still don’t think I need them?”
We had us there. With a never ending supply of miners wanting to throw something in his face, it’s actually a pretty good idea he wears safety specs at all times.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?