The Goatman Cometh – on 11 January, Peter Riley aka the Goatman, casually strolls into the Rotto pub after a bust-up with a huge yellowtail kingfish over his shoulder, slams down a cold one and then continues on his day. Got the dog like a Shmacko flavoured postie.
Red Rooted – to many, Red Roota is like a family member. Always there in your time of need. Which is what made the scenes from Forrestfield particularly heinous. Proving definitively, that nothings good can ever come from roasting a greasy bird in a Roota car park.
George is getting upset – on 18 Feb, Jason Alexander took great offence to the West trying to ambush him for an interview at Perth Airport. Like a surreal real life episode of Seinfeld the feud played out on Twitter with George delivering a smackdown. He then continued his Perf summer of George at the poker tables of Crown.
Highway to Hell – Just before COVID laid a brutal 12 punch combo to our collective guts, Perf managed to throw the party of the year. A 100,000 bogan strong street party on Canning Highway. This was even praised as a cultural high-point for the country. Sure a few police cars were torched the next day but it wouldn’t be Perf without some kinda shame. For more: IN FOCUS: Highway to Hell
Toilet paper madness – all in all, WA’s effort against COVID-19 was a rare moment of state pride. However the same can’t be said for the citizens who lost their minds and went on a toilet paper shopping frenzy. It was hard to consider us an evolved species when witnessing fights, hoarding and people meeting up in car-parks to sell hoarder TP like a bag of pingas. For more: Ms Toilet Paper Panic Buy
Karratha gets a Hungry Jacks – city slickers wouldn’t understand what it’s like to pay $25 for a Whopper that has been sitting in some bogan’s car for 5 hours. Rural Australia has an insatiable appetite for what it doesn’t have. Making the grand opening of HJs a pretty big deal. As you can see from the ariel photo
Marko closes the borders – In early April, Marko gave secessionists a wet dream and closed the borders to the rest of the country. No doubt the policy allowed us to enjoy some of the most relaxed COVID restrictions in the country but unwittingly put us on a collision cause with a weapon of mass obstruction – Clive. More on that later.
COVID Villains – there is nothing like an unprecedented global pandemic to bring out the best and worst in people. Aside from hoarders, two other villains emerged – people refusing to social distance and people breaching self isolation orders. It was a one way ticket to public enemy no.1’sville – and plenty stepped up to the plate. For more – Ms I’m Not Social Distancing and Ms Coronavirus Self Isolation.
The Ardross Bomb Scare – nothing like that feeling when you chuck away an old smoke detector and get an entire block locked down. The battery was low and beeping which prompted a report from a concerned member of the public. What a gee up.
The Republic of Westralia Coup d’état – in one of the more bizarre scenes in WA, when a rogue group of sovereign citizens broke into the York Court House and attempted to establish a New Westralia as a sovereign authority in May. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t work and they men were promptly arrested.
Marko goes Full Rocko – Marko enjoyed such a level of popularity that he dared go to Rockingham in suit pants and a tucked in business shirt. Don’t try this at home.
The (few) People of Cottesloe v The Skate Park – In July, Perf reached peak boomer when a number of aggrieved citizens objected to the construction of a skate park in Cott. Delivered via letter drop and laminated pages, the opposition claimed that a skate park would bring drug dealing, violence and assorted deviant behaviour to their beloved leafy burb. No one agreed.
This brings us up to July 2020. CLICK HERE FOR PART 2: Year in Review Part 2.