No one knows how the child managed to beat the odds and survive after consuming a lunch that had over 2000 made up padenatic defects identified by a group of mums with nothing better to do than judge another mum’s lunchbox effort.
The furore all started when a naive mother decided to share a photo with a mummy group she just joined. What was this controversial photo? It was her attempt at a loving lunch made for her healthy child. Clearly, this made everyone fkn sick.
We spoke to the mummy who led the charge against the lunchbox. She commenced proceedings with a scatching attack on the mother’s choice of white bread. Adding,
“I was about to call child services. White bread? Is she trying to poison her bub with processed, sugary carbs? I rallied the troops and helped accelerate the process by also condemning her for a packet of Tiny Teddies”
Another mummy took offence that the lunchbox didn’t look like it was made of BPA free plastic. She also noted that fruit contained higher amounts of sugar and if she truly loved her child she’d swap out those apple slices for celery. She added,
“Clearly this woman has no concern for the welfare of her child. Oh, did we mention this selfish bitch also included a juice box? I bet that kid already has diabetes”
After over 500 comments, the naive mother decided to defend herself. She claimed that the lunchbox had included the Tiny Teddies because it was her child’s birthday and that 4 apple slices didn’t seem like an excessive amount of sugar.
Needless to say, she was hounds to the ends of the Earth and a concerned mother called the police to do a welfare check on the child. Miraculously, the child survived the snacks.