Metronet and TransPerth are scratching their heads today after a train mysteriously vanished while conducting a test run from Ellenbrook Station to Whiteman Park.
According to official sources, the train was only left alone for a minute at Ellenbrook before alarms were raised. A spokesperson for the WA Government told The Times,
“Anything that isn’t fkn nailed down, right? For farks sake. We leave this god damn train in Ellenbrook for 2 goddamn minutes and now we’re making an awkward fkn call to the insurer and you know what they are going to say right? They are going to ask why we built a train station in Ellenbrook and victim blame us”
It was an emotive but honest outburst. To get to the bottom of this mystery we spoke to an Ellenbrook local who told The Times,
“Mate, that bad boy is almost certainly parted and in the back a thousand ute trays as we speak. We don’t waste time up here in Ellenbrook”
Another local said that the population considered the first test train to be an offering to them. A way of saying sorry for taking so long.
Anyone who has seen a train in the Ellenbrook area is asked to contact crime stoppers.