Seemingly on a mission to plant an American flag on any bit of foreign soil he can, Trump has announced his plans to swoop in and take control of Morley Galleria while it’s in its weakened state.
Speaking at an US press conference, Trump said that he saw “great investment opportunity” for the NOR shopping centre and wanted full control before another developer gets to work on the long-promised renovations.
In a statement to The Times, Trump said,
“People always tell me that Galleria is a shithole, they say, Mr President, Galleria is a shithole, it’s for losers, they say, Mr President can you make Galleria great again, and I say, sure, it’s a development opportunity and I know development opportunities, people always say that, they say Mr Trump you know development opportunities”
Before rambling for another 15 minutes, Trump outlined his plans to to give Morley Galleria an ultimatum to surrender to US Forces or they’ll do “what’s necessary” to take the shopping centre.
Once in control, Trump has plans to cut off any pipelines retailers have with Chinese manufactured goods and ensure all products are imported from America.
He will then station an outpost at the Galleria bus port to ensure law & order while he builds the “Shopping Riviera of the North”.
Of course, the White House has distanced themselves from the plan. Telling the media that they will not fund this intrusion into Westralian territory.
Likely suffering from a lack of sleep, Trump continued unprompted,
“I hear the KGB operates to the north west of Morley. We will build a base in Morley to monitor the Russians”
No one saw any point in correcting him at this point.
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