President Trump has told Albo this morning that America’s trade surplus with Australia will be a big factor in future considerations to give us an exemption from steel & aluminium tariffs his administration imposed.
The surplus means we buy more from America than they buy from us. Australia is one of the few countries in this privileged position and it could be leveraged in our favour.
Elaborating on it further, Donald Trump said the surplus will largely due to Australia being far away and needing to buy a lot of planes from the US and most importantly the unyielding desire for every FIFO, tradie, jet skier and MMA enthusiast to own a pair of white Oakley sunnies.
A spokesperson for the White House told The Times,
“Oakley is one of the great American brands and no place on Earth has adopted the look harder than Western Australia. It’s really unthinkable that anyone South of the River would throw a fist outside a pub without rocking a pair, always in white, that’s the key export”
Last financial year, Western Australia bought somewhere in the realm of $3 billion worth of white Oakley sunnies. Which is quite mind-blowing given our humble population of just $3 million.
A leading sunglasses expert told The Times,
“You have to understand two factors: once you’re tradie rich in WA you can’t be seen in a pair of knock-off Oakleys. Western Australians have actually developed a 6th sense to detect cheap shit from Bali. Secondly, you have to understand the average Oakley owner is going through 3-4 pairs a year – given fight related breakages or losing them while jet-skiing”
In fact, we spoke to Spyda who has worked as a rigger for a decade. He says white Oakleys are his biggest expense. Adding,
“Mate, you wouldn’t believe how I break pairs of sunnies. Yesterday I didn’t recognise my own reflection after a week off on the pip ha ha, headbutted the mirror and smashed em, ay, ha ha, there goes another coupla hundred but that’s fark all given what I make ay”
Well, we’re glad to help America.
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