President Trump’s campaign against penguins has escalated today after he learned of a small, endangered colony in the City of Rockingham.
In true Trump fashion he showed no sympathy to their plight and sent correspondence to Penguin Island saying the United States of America has them firmly locked in their sights. A spokesperson told The Times,
“President Trump wants every penguin on this planet to know where they stand. Make no mistake another round of tariffs is coming and Penguin Island won’t be exempt”
In a statement from Trump himself he described penguins as enemies of America, adding,
“They are sneaky animals, very sneaky, I intend to build a wall around Antartica and make them pay for it”
Naturally, the penguins have their hands full at the moment battling a declining colony. The last thing they need is a war with America.
Nevertheless, the penguins have vowed to return fire and put reciprocal tariffs on America tourists wanting to gawk at them on the island.
Good luck little penguins. You’ve already been through enough.
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