Ever the saviour, Twiggy has swooped in to save the day after Hancock Prospecting withdrew their $15M sponsorship offer with Netball Australia. Under a few minor conditions.
To satisfy the conditions of the sponsorship deal, Netball Australia will have to “tweak” the game to incorporate some Twiggy-friendly elements. A spokesperson for the Twigmeister told The Times,
“Fans will barely notice the difference. Teeny, tiny, insignificant stuff like an oval shaped ball, contested scrums, and of course, a grass field to play on. They’ll also just have to go by Rugby Australia. It’s a no-brainer for the sport”
Under the deal, the players won’t even have to display any of Twiggy’s business interests on their uniforms. A condition Twiggy imposed given he concedes that he may also be in the business of large-scale mining.
We spoke to a contact within Netball Australia who are seriously considering the offer. Telling The Times,
“It will be a little bit of a shock for the players but that comes with any core rule changes doesn’t it. I think any good WD will accept their new responsibility to kick into touch. Also, the hole to slot the ball through is way bigger under Twiggy’s proposed rule. Like metres wider and square”
To sweeten the deal, Twiggy has agreed to double the sponsorship sum if he’s also made head coach. A role he sorely has sought but the Wallabies denied him for so many years. A spokesperson told The Times,
“So Alan Jones is fit to coach the Wallabies but Twiggy isn’t? Are you forgetting about all the money he throws at Australia? You know he owns R M Williams right? How many rugby union fans swan around in his company’s boots at the games? It’s only fair”
Now the only hurdle is to see how “traditional” netball fans take to the new game. However judging by the scenes at Wednesday night netty most weeks, they should be pretty accommodating to the extra full body contact under the new rules (read more about the savagery of social netball HERE).
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?