A man visiting Westralia from Sydney has been left as stunned as a mullet at a taser party while driving on our roads.
In a state of confusion, the man kept turning to his Perth colleagues and demanding to know how the tolls work here.
There was no doubt he was growing anxious over the lack of information on how to pay to use our highways and freeways – incessantly rambling about extra administrative fees and aggressive letters of demand.
At one point he even stopped his car in the middle of the Kwinana to scream at the Smart Freeway display that he was ready, willing and able to pay, just let him. Before breaking down, smearing himself in his own man-clay and waving his wallet in the air.
One of his colleagues was rather bemused at watching the Sydney man bronze up like a Hotel Hakea guest after learning apricot chicken was on the menu again, and told The Times,
“He thinks we’re paying a big practical joke on him and that he’s going to get some massive toll debt by the end of the drive. He was almost in tears before begging us to tell him which direction is free. We thought, wtf are you on mate? You’re in Perth now, you’re safe”
It seems the trauma the man has suffered in his own state isn’t easily undone. Holding back bewildered tears of joy & anxiety he told The Times,
“No tolls? I don’t have to pay anything? Not a dime? You’re bullshittin’ me aren’t ya? What kind of paradise have I come to? Can I stay?”
While the people of Westralia appreciate your praise the answer is, of course, no. He was also asked to sign an NDA at the border upon his departure.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?