The Western Australian Government has hit back at Opposition Leader Potato Dutton’s calls to establish a nuclear power facility in Collie.
While nuclear power has become a lot safer since the days of Chernobyl it isn’t without risk. A risk that the good people of Collie’s DNA probably can’t take.
A spokesperson for WA told The Times,
“Look, this is a town where family reunions already get a bit hot & heavy. We make jokes about Collie residents having scars on their necks but what if radiation was to seep out into the environment? Then we’d have some with scars on both sides of their neck if you catch our drift. This isn’t a town we can play genetic Russian roulette with”
We spoke to a Collie local who was happily married to the love of his life through the Ancestry.com dating app. He told The Times,
“Ya wanna know what kind of fish you catch in an irradiated shallow gene pool? Not a good one. Keep nuclear out of Collie!”
Similarly, Bunbury locals are “nervous” about the proposed plant. With many fearful a small accident could create a new species of Collie resident that could be too powerful for them.
We spoke to a cop in the South West who told The Times that it’s bad enough everyone in Collie looked so similar, adding,
“Do you know how hard it is to police that community? Offender descriptions mean absolutely nothing. Now what if you combine that with superhuman mutant skills? The people of Bunbury are understandably nervous about what will come down that hill. Fitzy’s has already installed a new vault-like door on their premises.
Nevertheless, Dutton has promised to send ample reinforcements if the genetically enhanced army of Collie finally rises and takes arms against the cheap jokes against their genetic make up.
Troubling thought indeed.
