Let’s talk Western Australian tap water. Some people say it tastes like Aquaman’s precumies after a regrettable night with a garden of sea anemones. We’ve all been there.
To start with if you drink sparkling water unironically you have no business criticising our water. Your time to bignote your non existent sense of taste will come but not today friend.
Now for a state that has so much ice we don’t have the luxury of extracting our drink from pure glaciers. This ain’t no Evian commercial bucko. We’re a bit more rugged this side of the Nullabor.
So let’s break down the flavours. So about a third comes from desalinated sea water. Yeah pal, the delicious Westralian ocean, that’s raw power, like Gnaraloo swell forming a wave of taste and slamming it right down your throat.
It’s like the washy dreams of a deluded influencer in the shallows of Mettam Pool gently lapping against the shore of stunning beach reality.
Can’t handle that? Then grow up and have a big swing of Victorian ocean water and hope Gregory House M.D is at hand to figure out what’s wrong with you.
Next is mouthwatering tasting notes of groundwater. Maybe put some respect on that hallowed turf’s name. Westralian ground has been providing the goods to keep this forsaken country out of recession for decades. If it comes from our Earth it can only imbue you with the same power.
That includes producing tap water with a bit of jazz. A bit of funk. Tap water that makes you remember that time you had to dry swallow a pinga at Stereos. Move over Heston that’s some culinary magic.
Westralian tap water isn’t disgusting it’s character building.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?