The Great Nation of Westralia has announced plans to bring in its own version of national service after British PM Rishi Sunak announced his own plans last week.
Every Westralian citizen over the age of 18 will be required to serve a year as a Bunbury Farmers Market parking attendant in a move that is designed to teach young adults about life while serving their State.
A spokesperson for Westralia told The Times,
“You want a warzone? There’s your battle! At the Bunbury Farmers Market every single long weekend or summer day. We expect the service to instil a sense of duty in our young and also to teach them that people who drive LandCruiser 300 are categorically the enemy”
We spoke to a young man turning 18 next year. He told The Times that he lay in bed at night fearful of what awaited him. Adding,
“My dad was a Fremantle Hungry Jacks veteran who served over 100 tours and he said a bit of service would be good for me. I’m scared that I won’t be the same person when I return and he said that’s the point before muttering about the TikTok videos I make”
However, not everyone was being a massive puss about it, we spoke to Jessyka who said she was willing to do her duty for Westralia. Adding,
“I remember these Claremont snobs having a go at us when we went to Sculptures by the Sea when I was little. Well, who is in charge now lady? I’m going to make sure each and every one of those Down South holidaying aristocrats remember my name”
Wow, you might have a little bit too much gusto Jessyka. Either way, the service will roll out by the WA Day long weekend.
Anyone planning to try and skip out on their duty to Westralia will be met with a far more heinous fate. Rather than a prison sentence, anyone who deserts their post will be stationed at a purpose-built “complaints” tent at the Perth Royal Show.
See how you like dem apples, deserters.