Westralians at even higher risk of getting “Boy’d” this weekend

A warning of an even higher chance of being refered to as a “boy” has gone out to all Westralians ahead of one of the biggest weekends on the Saffa expat sporting calendar.

Not only do their beloved Boks play the Wallabies at Perth Stadium tonight but homegrown fightboy Dricus du Plessis takes on Israel Adesanya at the UFC tomorrow.

Needless to say, Biltongs in Perth’s north have been extra peppery on the lead up. We spoke to a local Saffa who had already started on the Castle Lagers. He told The Times,

“Let me tell you, boy! This will be a lekker weekend, ah k! A real African will win the title faaiiight just now and then the Boks will sell the Wallabies sweeties all night and show them who is boss now now! Bokkies, bokkies, bokkies! What at time to be Sith Effrican ja?”

Every word in the sentence was harder to listen to than the last. It’s just a small taste of what Westralians are in for. We spoke to an Australian resident of Perth’s northern sprawl. He had a harrowing experience to recount,

“Yeah I live next to one. We have a black labrador so he mostly keeps to his side of the fence. However, he has been in my ear all morning, telling me the Wallabies are a shadow of their former self and that his dad used to go hunting wildebeest with Dricus du Plessis’ cousin”

The man was obviously shaken by his encounter with saffa kind but he managed to continue, adding,

“He then said that his cousin Johannes saw a du Plessis relative stand up to a lion and scare it away from their camp barehanded. So there was no chance Dricus would lose on Sunday. He then got a little emotional and was rambling about it being such a shame what the world did to the great Hansie”

Please be careful out there people.