An aspiring lady of leisure and all round woo girl has been struggling to maintain her woo-style amidst the rising cost of living that just wont quit.
That’s until she spotted a few bottles of old faithful in the bottlo and asked herself a serious question – “why not?”
So, she purchased 3 bottles of Passion Pop and took them to her wine tour pres. It seems the nostalgic value was enough to mitigate the shame of bringing PP and after a few swigs she was transported back to a purer time.
Before long, Vanessa was buck wild and couldn’t believe she had taken such a long hiatus from the defining liquid of her childhood. She told The Times,
“Passion Pop is a slay. I feel like I am back in Claremont trying to flirt with a bouncer at Clubba to get priority entry. I’ve even had a cheeky little vom on my shoes. VaMESSa is back, baby!”
We spoke to the party bus operator who told The Times that had no doubt the girls were on the Passion Pop even before sighting the bottles. Adding,
“You can always tell the Passion Pop high. Something about that putrid shit just makes people a bit crazy. They think they are having a good time but believe me, the Pop always catches up with you, always”
Not that Vanessa was thinking about the consequences as by her calculations she’ll save herself hundreds of dollars per weekend by reverting back to the sacred tonic.
Feeling so alive on PP, she visited a bottleshop on her return to Perth and bought even more bottles. Inviting everyone back to her apartment to get to play a game of pop goes the passion weasel.
Unfortunately, the Pop does always catch up with you and when Vanessa woke up the next day she was relatively confident she was flatlining.
While spewing into a bucket next to her, she told The Times.
“Ah yes, Passion Pop. Now I remember why I stopped drinking this swill. Best day ever but I think I vomited in my laundry basket”
She indeed had.
RELATED: 11 Nostalgic Bevvies That Probably Defeated You Growing Up
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?