WA World Cup fan officially farewells normal sleep pattern, prepares to become a creature

Dom has conceded that the next 28 days will be an emotional rollercoaster for himself and everyone around him due in no small part to the fact he’s picking up the sleeping habits of Charlie Sheen in full tiger blood mode.

With kick off times ranging from 6:00 pm to 3:00 am, Dom is looking forward to absolutely throttling his sleep pattern for the love of the game. He says he looks forward to his transition into a bewildered, cranky creature of the night as he gets as much soccer up him as he can.

Naturally, he insists on the game being called football. A little detail that he imagines he’ll get pretty sensitive about after his first week of life as the walking dead. He told The Times,

“I’ve already put in a request to work from home for the next 28 days. I told them that it’s for their own safety really. I can’t be held responsible for what I say while that sleep-deprived. I also would rather my workmates not see the little couch gremlin I will no doubt become”

It’s not just Dom’s mind that is going to cop a 7-punch combo to the chops. It’s also his digestive system due to Dom insisting on a froff and snack no matter what time he is watching a World Cup game. He continued,

“Yeah the rig isn’t going to know what hit it. Do the bowels enjoy a full pack of family Doritos with hot salsa at 3 am? I guess we’ll find out. Might sleep with a towel under me just in case things get out of hand. It’s all part of my evolution into a disgusting ghoul”

Speaking of 3 am, Dom is still unsure about how he’ll tackle it. Is it a go to bed and wake up kind of deal or is it a stay awake until 6 am like the ice goblin he’s behaving like kinda deal? Well, Dom again says, he will see. 

One person who will not be hanging around to find out is Dom’s partner. She has already ordered Dom to set himself up in the spare bedroom. Adding,

“If you think I am going to put up with that moody dick head all month you have another thing coming. He keeps saying he can’t help it but he aboslutely can. This is totally self inflicted and if I get woken up to beers cracking at 3 am then he’ll be getting a red card. Right to his nuts”

RELATED: Qatar World Cup beer ban shocks fans as they wonder how Budweiser managed to meet a recognised definition of beer

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?

$