A WWE fan has been left seeking positive reinforcement after suspecting he didn’t rock the socks off his date last night.
Despite pulling out all his signature moves and lasting longer in the ring before tapping out than he ever has, he felt she may have faked it.
We spoke to the Bumble date who was keeping kayfabe about it all. A wrestling term that binds all professionals to never admit wrestling is fake. She told The Times,
“Look I didn’t fake my big O, I just choreographed it, ok? No one can deny the athleticism and skill that I put in to give him a show. I can sense his ego is bruised but maybe that’s the chokehold I got him in at his request”
Naturally, the line between “fake” and “choreographed” goes to the heart of every wrestling fan. It’s the sugar-laced lie that helps the spoonful of theatrical bullshit go down.
We tracked down the incompetent lover who was trying to tee up a rematch with the date. He told The Times,
“My stroke game is as real as it comes and everything that happens during my love-matches is real. If you have a problem with that why don’t you step up to my bed and have a go? They don’t call me Randy Savage for nothing”
We had to politely decline his offer. Instead, we played devil’s advocate and told the bloke that her having the courtesy to “choreograph” it showed that she cared and she might just be the one.
That’s when he started demonstrating his signature move on a pillow and the interview had to end.
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